Helping children navigate school-related worries with patience, routine, and support.
The new school year is underway. The backpacks are packed, lunches are prepared, and the first-day-of-school excitement has hopefully begun to settle into a routine.
But for some children, going back to school can bring more than excitement. It can bring anxiety, worry, and uncertainty.
As parents and caregivers, one of the first things we can do is take a moment to consider our own feelings. Are we anxious about sending our children to school? Are we worried about bullying, school safety, academics, or whether our child will fit in? Children often pick up on the emotions of the adults around them, so recognizing and managing our own anxiety can help us better support them.
What Might Be Making Your Child Anxious?
Children can experience anxiety about many different aspects of school. They may worry about:
- Making friends or fitting in
- Being accepted by their classmates
- Having a good relationship with their teacher
- Understanding their schoolwork or completing homework
- Adjusting to a new classroom or school environment
- Feeling safe and comfortable at school
For a child, these concerns can feel overwhelming. What may seem small to an adult can be a significant source of stress for a child.
Routines Can Provide Comfort
One of the best ways parents can help reduce back-to-school anxiety is by establishing predictable routines.
A consistent morning and evening routine can help children know what to expect. Prepare as much as possible the night before—lay out clothes, pack the school bag, and prepare lunch. In the morning, allow enough time for getting dressed, brushing teeth, and eating a healthy breakfast.
The routine shouldn't end when your child gets to school. Whenever possible, establish regular times for coming home, completing homework, eating dinner, relaxing, and going to bed.
Children often thrive when they know what comes next.
Family time can also provide an important opportunity to connect. Even a few minutes each day or every other day to sit together and talk about what went well, what was difficult, and how everyone is feeling can help children feel heard and supported.
Listen Before You Try to Fix
If your child seems anxious about school, take their concerns seriously.
It can be tempting to say, "It will be fine," or "Don't worry about it—just go to school." While these comments are usually meant to reassure, they can unintentionally make a child feel that their concerns aren't important.
Instead, ask questions and listen.
Try to understand what is making your child uncomfortable. Is there a problem with a classmate? Are they struggling academically? Are they having difficulty connecting with their teacher? Are they feeling overwhelmed by the school environment?
Sometimes a child may have difficulty explaining exactly what is wrong. Be patient and give them the opportunity to share their feelings without judgment.
Work Together With the School
If anxiety continues, reach out to your child's teacher or school counselor. What you see at home may be different from what teachers see in the classroom. They may be able to identify challenges or behaviors that aren't apparent outside of school.
Some children may benefit from additional academic, emotional, or behavioral support. In some cases, a child may need a different approach or school setting.
The important thing is to understand the problem before deciding how to address it.
Stay Positive and Supportive
Above all, try to remain positive and supportive. Avoid being punitive when your child is struggling with anxiety. Instead, try to understand where they are coming from and help them develop the tools and confidence they need to manage their concerns.
With consistency, communication, patience, and support from both home and school, children can learn to feel more comfortable and confident in their school environment.
A new school year brings new challenges, but it also brings new opportunities for growth, friendship, learning, and building self-esteem.
Wishing all of our children and families a healthy, happy, and positive school year!
Watch the original YouTube video from Oct 3, 2023 in which this blog post was based off on the JFS YouTube page!
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